I've come to realize that despite my one and only follower, thanks B, I find some relief in the posts here. The solitude makes me comfortable, hidden behind all the other blogs people will run into before finding mine. It seems as though my electronic journal gives me not only a place to express my feelings, but a place to be alone with them. I like that.
The majority of my time is taken up by school and work, in fact throw in homework and I'd say that 90% of my time is occupied by these pursuits, and they are indeed noble. Yet, still I have people tell me I need to date, perhaps encouraged by my somewhat random desires to find someone. Though the idea of being together with someone is indeed appealing, this solitude I get from my lonely blog seems to tell me that I am ok where I am at. For now.
Its hard to think that I have been home from my mission for nearly 6 months now. Time has passed eerily fast. I fear that I will be dead before I know whats going on here. Yes I have not been on a date since before my mission, yes I am lonely sometimes. But I find comfort in my schooling, in my books, and in my family. So, in short, I do no dislike my life for the lack of people involved, I like it for that very simple reason. I don't need a lot of people telling me they love me. I just need my family and a few close friends, and of course the Lord. But He loves me no matter how long its been since I've done....well since I've done anything. He will always be there, and I know so will my family.
The reasons I've found for being here on this earth drastically outweigh the option of leaving it. It is sad to think that this idea ever crossed my mind, especially while I was serving the Lord. But, as we have been promised, all things will be for our good. And now, not only do I have reasons for not removing myself from this glorious earthly life, I have actual reasons to live. And more life to look forward to. Reasons are what drive me. and reason, is why I write on this blog, with my one follower. The solitude reminds me that one day, this wont just be a blog about me.
Yay I'm your follower!
ReplyDeleteLove the new background!!
Oh, and I LOVE YOU!!!
talk to you tomorrow.
B